The Ideal Man List

The Summer of 2022, I went to a vocational discernment retreat for men (Quo Vadis), hosted by the Diocese of Charlotte. It is a weeklong event that has always been a success in encouraging young, Catholic men to ask God if they are being called the priesthood. I highly recommend it for any man who is within several hours of Belmont Abbey.
During my experience at Quo Vadis, the organizes brought in several speakers throughout the week. One of them was Sr. Mary Raphael of a local religious order called the Daughters of The Virgin Mother. The Daughters of the Virgin Mother, "work together to help and support seminarians who are preparing for priesthood as well as teaching young women about living their lives as strong women of faith and celebrating their authentic femininity (D’Annunzio & McDonald)."
In her talk, she shared something with the attendees that has stuck with me ever since. She had the sisters work together and write an "Ideal Man List" that she then presented to her audience. This list caught my attention greatly. Here was a list made by some of the most true, beautiful, and good women you will ever meet, who have also promised to offer their lives to Christ in a chaste and celibate lifestyle. To a secular mind, it would not make sense why I should take relationship advice from women who would never date; but to a Catholic mind, it makes perfect sense. There is no one better to take advice from, for they have offered their life to the perfect man: Christ.
I don't want to just be a good man; I want to be a great man. I don't want my female friends dating just good men, I want them to date great men. We should listen up when the women who found the perfect man start talking; so here is the list. Enjoy.

• Sense of direction
• Sense of (clean & classy) humor; makes her laugh
• Protects & provides for
• Strong
• Attentive
• Hard working
• Leader, not a pushover
• Joyful
• Capacity for fatherhood, not Peter Pan
• Willing to tell her no when for her own good
• Friend of God; Prayerful

This list is not a task or goal that can be achieved and then checked off your to-do list; it is a lifestyle. Every area on it is a constant work in progress. However, if men would strive for this lifestyle, and if women would hold themselves to it as their standard, our relationships with each other would have much less heartache & hurting and much more peace & joy.

God Bless & Verso l'Alto,
Jesse Kramer

Works Cited

D’Annunzio, M, and O McDonald. “Interview with Sr. Mary Raphael, Founder of the
Daughters of the Virgin Mother.” Bishop McGuinness Archives Project, Bishop
McGuinness Archives Project, 29 May 2019,
bishopmcguinnessarchivesproject.wordpress.com/2019/05/29/interview-with-sr-mary-
raphael-founder-of-the-daughters-of-the-virgin-mother/. Accessed 2 Sept. 2024.